May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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