I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
