good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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