You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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