I like to think it a success when the cops are called
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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