yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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