I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize