And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
