if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
