If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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