thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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