i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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