Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
