Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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