we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
