she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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