Got a toothbrush?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize