Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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