Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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