I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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