it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was born a porn star she said
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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