Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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