Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
