Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
