WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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