I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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