sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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