I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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