i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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