Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do herpes really smell.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
