One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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