I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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