Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
