just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
