It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
