Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
