I want you more than these girls want KFC
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
