I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
