fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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