How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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