This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
