End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
