And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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