You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she smelled like a LAN party
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
