My liver just broke up with me...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize