Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
