The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
