he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
