I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize