went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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