This show inspires me to have sex in space
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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