Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize