It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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