i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
