just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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